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The Yellow Apple
Dance I eat yellow apples
and you dance. I speak and you touch
me from inside. I walk and you follow. I rest and you awaken
me for more. You are with me always. You move in me with
grace. We are bond. You are not born. but we will never be this
close again. I eat yellow apples
and you dance. 1989
Face (Apples Revisited) Will you have it? My face Will you take mine? My face Will you kiss it? My face “How are you
today, my face?” “Apples, apples!”
you say We share the same
face
1989
The Wolf Vile untruths Like serpents Crawl from your mouth You revel in my pain Laughing at my bright
eyes I never noticed your
black teeth Your pleasure is
deception You soul has tiny
holes of rot I see it now The red of your eyes Your smell of sadness Goodbye Gone Over Hope fled Weary and tired I cannot remember
the sweetness My senses are blank This day I have dreaded Early 1990’s
My Heart Bleeds Purple Hard and fast Reeling Desperate and falling No faces The gray edge of
pain I can look and see The softness I look ahead Black Tangled Slick You are too many Slamming Feverish One small tear Heated and frightened Holding me My heart bleeds purple
for you early 90's
Argyles
Collection (I, II, III) Argyles
(I) I bought
a pair of argyle socks today. I thought
of you. You always
wore argyles. I liked
that about you. Clean lines
and subdued color. Ah, you
were handsome. You were
many to me. Striking
in demeanor and intelligence. Warm And jaded And dark
you were. A mysterious
man wearing argyle socks. I visited
your grave once. Were you
buried with a nice pair of argyles on? I then proceeded
home to wear your soul on my feet. Visit (II) No lights candle flame Iggy on
stereo, hard Bathed in
you a tickle
through me closed eyes soft chair warm feet
wrapped in argyle socks ……..KNOCK,
KNOCK, KNOCK…….. …….HEY,
HEY, HEY YOU…….. ,,,,,,Fuck
you, knocking neighbor,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,I’m
spending a little time with a dead friend here,,,,,,, A shot of
vodka A little
wine Laughing and talking I can smell
you …….BOOM,
BOOM, BOOM….. …..TURN
THAT SHIT DOWN YOU STUPID BITCH……. ,,,,,,,I
like this,,,,,,, ,,,,,,,,,hanging
with you,,,,,,, smoking
and watching
the curls stay here with me
for awhile …….I’M
GONNA CALL THE COPS…… ………IF
YOU DON’T TURN THAT NOISE OFF NOW….. ,,,,,,grin,
grin, smile, smile, giggle, giggle, chuckle, chuckle, laugh, laugh,,,,, I ponder
over why I always
get into trouble when you
are around Ricky Baby
(III) Your last
image Mother bending …..yes,
Mommy, yes, hold me….. you drift
in and out of lucidity lids fall struggling
to peer at your mommy slow whispered
breath ….is
that you, mommy?….. no answer
from her long pauses
between your death rattles she snatches
the shiny earring from your warm earlobe and scurries from the room I put socks
on your feet, Argyles add a blanket tuck you
in kiss your
forehead I pray that
your mom is getting your dad from the waiting room to love you one last time I wait Holding
you ….is
that you, Mommy?….. **Yes, Dear,
it is Mommy and Daddy is here too and we love you and always have, Ricky Baby, we love you so much**, I say to you …..you
really do love me, you really do, you really…….. You die
with diamonds on your feet 1991-2001
Summer Solstice Lover The sun shines on
you through our window You speak I watch your mouth
move, not hearing I touch the warmth
of your neck I watch your lips
move and move I smell your hair And place fingers
in your mouth to quiet you I taste your arm,
warmed by the sun I feel my breath
leave me I am alone in the
world with you Stay here in the
sun with me I don’t care
about the world I don’t care
what the others say or think I only care for you
and me Close your eyes,
baby Push the pain from
words away Let me see you Let me touch you Let me taste you Let me be you I will dry your tears
And I will mend your
tears Stay here in the
sunbeams with me 1994
Hathor Told Me Come to me, Love I am patient I will wait for you I have asked Mother
Hathor to bring you to me How many bursting
moons will we see alone? I only ask-----less
than we will see together I will know you by
your warmth and pain For I am the magic
to heal your rage And I will know you
by your calm hands Your sweet mouth Your bright eyes For these are my
salvation A week, a year, a
decade or more Hathor spoke to me
in dreams The union will for
worth the wait she said For the love will
never end I believe in Her,
myself and you I dream of you and
wait Knowing I will be
exalted in you Absorbed yet separate Come to me, my love We can make the world
right again 1995
Keep Just Love Intense, beyond my
wildest dreams Little boy, he cried
for so long One true magician Venous pumping blue-black Empathy at once Kaleidoscope shattered Initiation to another
level My deity-demon lover Innocence was stolen Damage to his shell Restrained his light Enveloped him with
lies A life of screaming Misery was learned Hurtful speech In his ears Mouth stitched tight Just moving to Unknown places Steering beyond the
past Taking nothing Running for his life Ignoring his nightmares Grabbing his pencils
and brushes He paints his picture To his truth Why does he run?
You ask How can I slow his
rising? You cannot Courage is something
I taught him And you taught him
Hell Not a day goes by… That I don’t
think of his journey Yearning to be loved One little boy Understands for a
moment 1995-1999
Santino I turned my head And you were yesterday Tear out my heart And smear it on the
wall The same womb The same path I turn my head and
you were there Magician man Poke me with words I bathe in your understanding Paint under your
nails Wanderlust under
your skull Sixteen moods in
24 hours Lusty man scent I await your homecoming To the mountain,
to the grave, To the store, to
the cave Hair of the Viking Walk in the woods
of demons Offering your mouth
to the sky Love me like a painting Rest on me Bring me a souvenir
of argyles late 90's The Stars Laugh While
The Moon Weeps-unfinished The stars laugh while
the moon weeps They do not see They only search The hosts unknowing Bodies follow Souls shudder at
recognition Having walked together
before Some kill each other A few will love and
challenge the sky brights The stars laugh while
the moon weeps Hydra 1998
Walk Away Leave me the fuck
alone I hate the way you
chew I hate the way you
breathe Your smell gags me Walk away You do not deserve
to call me lover You touched my life
but you didn’t touch me You are nothing Nothing Do you hear me? Yes, turn your head
and walk away Drown in your tears Die a painful, agonizing
death Walk away You are dead to me
now 1998
Smoke Break Taking a smoke break
at work Watching the yellow
leaves on a giant tree wave at me Thinking about him The man I am falling
in love with The trees have no
advice for me A hundred birds sitting
on the telephone wires They don’t
have any words of wisdom for me either I think about his
grace He came to me so
unexpected Yet as if I had been
waiting for him my whole life I light another cigarette My heart if fluttering
at the thought of him I want to cry tears
of joy, but not here at work I must save them
for later I close my eyes and
I can smell him See his smile Feel his calm hands
on my face He makes me feel
real He knows my secrets
that I hide from most of the world He is patient and
understanding His mind is vast
and wondrous I take the last drag
off my cigarette I crush it out and
tell the bright leaves and chattering birds to give me a sign to confirm that my heart is true enough for this man The leaves wave back
and forth in the wind and birds start to take flight My heart soars with
them I am exalted I deserved to love
him and receive his love for me I go back to my desk
and wish for the end of this workday, so that I may speak to my lover and let him know that the leaves and the birds approve
of my love for him
10/99
Birds in my Blood Hands on my face Purple sparks Touch, here Yes Now Sugar on my lips Smiles Fingers bent Birds Birds in my blood Where is this place? You live here? Birds Birds in my blood The world is only
8 x 4 Moon in my belly
Bright eyes Strong hands Rain smell Thrill sex Sugar Warmth And faintness Soft Soft on my heat Birds Birds in my blood Scrubbing the past
away 11/15/99
Allowed Sometimes I just
want to be allowed Allowed to have a
bad day Screw the baseline,
please I can be mad or angry Oh yes, and even
sad I may cry And bitch It is just a bad
day Not like your head-in-an-oven
bad day Just like a not so
good day Allow me the dignity I am not decomping Don’t ask me
if I took my meds I am having a bad
day Just a day that is
less than yesterday Allow me the pleasure
of you ignoring me Tomorrow is always
better after a real good bad day Thank you so much
for allowing me to have just that 11/20/99 Pissing “I will spread
my soul for you just don’t piss in it” Remember when I said
that? Giggling and laughing Stomach flutters Souls saying “How
you been?” “Haven’t
seen you in a while” “Wanna compare
scars, sweetie?” Newness vibrations On our best social
behavior Holding doors Saying please and
thank you Safe topics Keeping it light
and cool Bullshit Ask me, I will tell
you Go ahead Hold me up to your
notions Tell me everything Ask me anything I have a rubber
heart A shaman’s
wisdom And a child’s
world wonder Quiz me again Try to trip me on
my words Like that Don’t like
that Like this Put me on a seesaw Or better yet a balanced
scale Up and down Back and forth Measure me Look in now Look way in there
now For I am cleaved
in the open air “Just don’t
piss in my soul” Remember that It burns and leaves
another scar 11/20/99
It Screams Leper Lover Tickle that place
behind my soul One glance can set
me free No one else knows
how To make me feel so
real Only you can excite Laughter down through
my toes Eyes so bright my Powerful man Envelope my body Release me, free 2000
Phoenix You make laughter
break through black clouds The strangest
emotion My raging bull,
searing pain Cold clothe on
my soul when the heat is melting my will No robes of judgment You are the parent
to my child You have witnessed
my many deaths and births Shouldering the
weight of me 2000
My friend Sainted pAin maN wiTh hIs Noble
lOVe 2001
Psych Ward
Shuffle Can someone
help me out here? I am feeling
pretty mighty! I shouted
with a sneer, I think
my name is Aphrodite! Please come
with me said the nurse. Down the
hall and up this little hill. Oh, how
that girl was so clean and terse. She gave
me a big yellow pill! We insist
you experience the lock. We want
to study your mind. We want
to give you a shock. We will
try to be kind. I broke
free and ran like the wind. Praying
the door was not barred. I would
have made it. If not for
that security guard. The sound
of loud bells. A shot full
of Thorazine. Piercing
yet fading yells. I fell to
the floor unable to even lean. I raised
my head and saw the phone. I tried
to call 911. The damn
thing had no tone. It just
could not be done. So I relaxed
and I lay. Serene and
fading out, I heard a muffle. I would
have to wait until some other day. To do the
Psych Ward Shuffle. 2001
Acceptance 4/19/01
5 AM Tracks All the mind track
are on Mommy’s moving
far away Son pushing his bounds Man unsettled And I, no auxiliary Joy, guilt, esteem,
anger, pride Longing, wonder,
desire, fear ------All the mind
tracks are in motion Turtle pace Hare speed So close to each
other Spinning so close Little helpers doing
maintenance “We need more
little girl memories on track 7, please” “A little less
torque on the lament track” “We don’t
want those ducts activated!” “Bring it up,
bring it up, slowly” “Endurance
track looks fine, boys” “Keep it up” “Whoa----vanity
is rising a bit” “Keep an eye
out, a watchful eye” “Serenity nearly
achieved now, boys” “Good job,
man your stations” “She’s
sleeping now” “Let the night
shift take over” “Hey, did anyone
take notes this time?” 2001 Kim Kaleidoscope
of Angels In my Mind 2001 Ruff First you were the man that had a house next to ours, then you were Mr. Weber, then you were Ruff, then you were Ralph, then you were Ralph with all the cool cars and motorcycles, then you were Ralph, my Mom and Dad’s good friend, then you were Ralph, my Mom’s supportive friend in time of need, then you were Ralph, my Mom’s buddy, then you were Ralph, my Mom’s friend, then you were Ralph, my Mom’s lover, then you were Ralph, my Mom’s husband, then you were Ralph, my Stepdad, then you were Ralph, my Dad, I love you Dad 11/02 ***feel
free to insert the name of your favorite deity for the words Jesus or God, this is a hymn/song meant to be used for any religion*** Bathe
Me In The Waters O’ Jesus (we are all utterly unclean) (We
are all utterly unclean…whispered throughout song, background vocals) Bathe
me in the waters o’ Jesus Bathe
me in the waters o’ Jesus Bathe
me in the waters o’ Jesus Bathe
me in the waters o’ God Humble
me with love, love, love ……(pause)……. WE
ARE ALL UTTERLY UNCLEAN!!! The
sins of the parent shall kill the child For
the child is born innocent Receive
them in love Treat
them well Teach
them by your example Spare
the rod Spoil
the child With
your love With
your praise With
your beauty Mother/Father,
deity is not you You
are but the vessel of … Love,
love, love YAHWEH
HEAR ME YAHWEH
HEAR ME YAHWEH
HEAR ME NOW Please
help us to be bountiful Again
in love, again in love, again in love, again in love, again in love, again in love, again in love WE
ARE ALL UTTERLY UNCLEAN We
are all utterly unclean We
are all utterly unclean BATHE
ME IN THE WATERS O’ JESUS BATHE
ME IN THE WATERS O’ GOD BATHE
ME IN THE WATERS O’ LOVE HUMBLE
ME WITH LOVE, LOVE, LOVE LOVE,
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE 04/02 Hunter He Understands Nurturing Tames Earth’s Rage Schmeagal Bruised breast Crushed mouth Inflated psyche Fed my ID Purple grapes of
passion Mixed juices of taste Flowing taste of
knowledge Sharing memories Gray hairs Schmeagal 9/2005
Swiss
Cheese My
memory is like Swiss cheese So
help me please Don’t
delete And
please repeat I
need to have heard Every
single word I
am operating with a compromised mind So
do be kind I
might not remember you I
may ask “when, what, where, who” I
might not remember your face I
could be way off base I
have good days And
murky haze Give
me a smile And
in my shoes walk a mile I
do care So
let us be fair Have
patience and share with me And
I will respect thee My
heart knows When
the mind goes I
Want to Make a Deal I
want to make a deal I
want to make a deal with you, God I
want all the suffering I
want all the pain I
want to be gnarled, twisted and insane Send
it all to me Set
the others free I
will shoulder it all I
will not become burdened and fall I
will take it all in And
release it to the wind I
do not want to see the others distressed Give
me the hurt and let them be blessed I
want to make a deal I
want to make a deal with you, God Bipolar Haiku I
am mood enhanced 11/06
Bittersweet Spread your wings and fly For the light is nigh Not afraid to try Not afraid to cry Not afraid to die Leaving behind the place To stand and to face Looking to the sky Accepting the high Blending with all Hearing the call Not afraid to try Not afraid to cry Not afraid to die They
Call Me They
call me post traumatic stress disorder They
call me bipolar disorder They
call me general anxiety disorder They
call me schizoeffective disorder They
call me borderline personality disorder They
call me seasonal effective disorder I bleed
the same as you do I love
the same as you do I try
the same as you do I learn
the same as you do I laugh
the same as you do I cry
the same as you do I work
the same as you do I get
by the same as you do I teach
the same as you do I dream
the same as you do I die
the same as you do I worship
the same as you do I survive
the same as you do I fly
the same as you do What is the beast setting
me apart, that I am given another name?
The Seal Tattoo on his heart inked by Jesus Lives to breathe In Him I do believe Kills people for a living yet wouldn’t hurt a fly King of the hunt Will eat your soul Relieving His pain Baby, I think I need to free wise up Forever in my shame I know his secret name Shut Up Pompous Heinous Illusions Linger Silently Under Cracks Knocked Sinfully I I
desire to be One and
ride upon the Sun This
new soul is old My
pain, some time ago, was sold I
hurried to the line to wait I
was heavy with hate I
heard the yore I
kissed the shiny whore I
laughed and chose to linger Inward,
I pointed a finger I
tasted dirt I
have and did cause hurt Bringing
paper to pen With
the good and the sin With
this might I
flow to write For
to want is to know and
to know is to grow Winter Solstice I don’t ask for things for myself I want to be the conduit I want to be your mother I want to be your slave Nix on the nelly but not on the naiveté We pray for each other We stay with love I took a shower with a spider today Oh, my tiny spider Making my world wider My grin doth lift So diligent and swift Reflected in the light Your many eyes so bright Do hurry about and scurry about Deadly nothing’s wrong So delicate, so small, so strong Shocked without talk the prey you stalk Edging a wee nip Savoring the sip Feasting on blood-soul Absorbing past the goal I took a shower with a spider today Again
I know you You know me I know that You know that Bite Taste of juice Consult the list Simple No profound secret
Just truth Moon Above us Shield me Joined Again Cotton Candy The colors have always been there Underneath the facade of care Behind a veil of lies A host of tries The cloak of deception With a connection That must die Held together by Sticky cotton candy on a cheap stick So hard, so thick An aura of doom To only assume An attack A knife in my back I will not follow you there For I don’t give a care For your ice and heat In a package sickly sweet No water for that seed You will not induce a bleed I shall be fine I will draw that line You are with sin From deep within It will make you sick Sticky cotton candy on a cheap stick My Gifts I like the drama when the curtain falls. I like a room filled with dolls. Snowfall smells Where my heart dwells My toes in the sand Holding your hand A baby’s sleep A joyful weep The light of moonrise Tats on my thighs Talking to you Eating snow cones of blue Touching a tree Smiling at thee Napping in the shade Satiation made In the newly crisp air You will find me there Tasting the fruit Wrapped in softness to suite Will you please I give you these You never shall part From my heart Your Kaleidoscope Gentle spirals to the center Waves on peaceful shores The path to enchantment Whispers of our secrets Banishing the unknown Uncovering the dreams Listening to your energy Touching your balanced need Ride upon your wizened ID I desire to taste of your mind Feast on your old soul Soothe your roaring heartbeat Share my story of the ancient Suck of honey lust Pleasure will befall us I want to make love to your Personality Your kaleidoscope Whispers Hopes Cherry lust Puss in boots Hesitation on his side It’s fake until you fuck The mirage ignores me Am I invited to the visitation? Jo does not know You are goth sophisticate Flotsam & Jetsam Elemental Waters My hair will not stay back The lower functioning offend me Relieve me please Take the stairs, downstairs I am out of answers 1/23/07-1/27/07 Undead We had
words Goldie
Locks got lost Vincent
Price is my friend Shera
has the power I met
that chick The Warrior
is best kept private online DD laughs
quite often I have
a painting Deanna
pays the bills in mind Mamaspud
has the compassion she uses
both her hands The Slug has
eyes There
is a blue moon Hydra
knows no patience in May The Manalishi
waits 1/29/07
I
Don’t Love You Last
night as a maiden My gifts
now as the crone are laden Bubbling
on the side of right Towards
the healing light Leaves
in my hair A sad
story I must share The taste
is ill of your lave The power
of my pink womb-cave I was
shown the save Looking
down upon myself Waiting
for the time of stealth The inside
mother Is above
her Daddy
at my funeral, he doth weep I took
that faithful leap Damage
to her shell A glimpse
of Hell In the
moonlight The Tiger
fought the Bear Until
nothing was left there Invoking
the fright or flight Blood
on the streets that night I was
passed by with fright On that
cold darkened night Upon
bloody feet I raced to my Hero The rookie’s
knowledge was less than zero The machine
of lies Does
not reflect the whys My race
Hero is wise Scrubbing
away the dirt Releasing
the inner hurt Acceptance
of the clean The survivors
know what this shall mean Releasing
the pain of the event From
Heaven I was sent Your
five is nothing against my nine I made
you tow the line For all
to see your sign Of poisoned
wine Of the
water from my Lord The Justice
of her sword With
the others I got past the blind Their
support was true and kind The smell
of vanilla crème From
this I gleam The karma
of Justice For those
amongst us There
will be no nails upon my coughin’ From
Daddy I feel soften Revisit
the ground Making
it sacred with my sound The last
small piece To release My condolences
I offer For I
am now softer Introspection Of the
deception A dove
upon my back Dove
in water to reduce the black Blank
slate Of remembered
hate I wear
a necklace of your teeth Underneath Two to
too I don’t
love you Irish He gave
her the best compliment with
soul-felt sentiment She desires
to go to to get
lost in She wept
for joy understanding
it was not a ploy for affection but an
order of loving selection He gallantly
took flight and sped
to her in the night Sipping
on a gasoline powered Silly The road
to her mind is rather hilly And he
stepped right in to revel
in her shiny sin Truthful
power inked on their backs For nothing
and no one lacks They
feasted of the morning after
their pretty whoring From
the hurt they spurred things
best left unheard A bridge
was burned From
this she learned that
a newness could be built upon
flowers of released guilt She never
gave up the hope and did
her damnedest to cope Again
they talk holding
hands to walk through
the strife of this
Life She smiles
at their friendship From
the cool clean water of shared empathy they sip She will
always keep close the wish of freedom
and peace for her Irish The Mechanic I want
to wear a wig And dance
a jig upon
your grave I want
to sneak in on third shift And leave
you a gift upon
your grave I will
lay you some vanilla Coke And something
to smoke upon
your grave I will
make you a clover chain To ease
my pain upon
your grave I am
Goldilocks In warm
socks upon
your grave I remember
the day of leap And I
never weep upon
your grave I sing
Sunshine And make
it mine upon
your grave Sinead,
the best, sang and etched For I
am stretched upon
your grave L5 Could not walk Could barely talk Nothing in me eases I have enough dis-eases Son had to grow up fast The time of play was past He wept for my fear His sadness did sear They cut up my shell Filled me with water from the well Softest Mommy took the ball And did not let me fall A fistful of pills The night gave me chills I was heavy with lead But clear in my head The pending burden did loom I prayed for the flowers to bloom Screaming For My Supper helped me thru The healing was true My soldiers did rally ‘round me Faith was to be I buried the staff With a mighty laugh I will never revisit My inner candle is lit I tossed my cards I mended the shards Simon Sending me to places I have never been I like his visions of the past/present/future from within My heart beats in time with his joy On a bed of jasmine flowers I relax and enjoy Near to me, dear to me, he can hear me In the still of the night Sending me hope and his light My wall supports a picture he drew You can look and see it’s true For I have a kindred soul of old Rather than lies being, to me, sold I thank the Gods above Everlasting connection of admired love No ocean or land Depletes his calming hand My
Condolences I
did not get to say any goodbyes I
light candles to warm me No
answers as to the whys Releasing
wishes to be free I
will live in this skin wishing
that time could be rewound Wanting
to be heard over the din of
all the chaotic sound I
won’t be seeing you here anymore You
have gone thru the trials and
have reached the door to
everlasting peace and smiles I
think of all the times of fun I
remember and cherish the care I
look towards the sky and the sun And
to these, my soul, I bare I
will keep your memory in my heart true For
I will be in Summerland one
day too and
I will hold your hand We
will talk of old times We
will take a stance We
will drink of sweet wines We
will laugh, we will sing and dance Pin-up Girl Joy is allowed. Copiously and lovingly as yielding of, nuances. Can
you hear me? Can
you hear me? Blood
and bruises. Cold
and windy, against
the grain. Chaotic
dreams, those
that did slip. The
claws in back, black
taste of mane. Stand
up to shout. Change
in season. Paper
and paints, a
step to gain. Feet
on marble, moving
in time. Daffodils
bloom, strong
beats the vein. Play
guitar licks. The
pretty floats, in
the parade. All
shine no rain. It’s Okay, Baby It is in my head. (It’s okay.) My limbic system, baby. Up here, in the brain. (It’s okay.) It is in my head. It’s okay, baby. It’s okay, baby. Called it touched, (yes, yes, yes.) not near insane. Sit next to me, baby, on my train. (yeah, yeah, yeah.) It is in my head. It’s okay, baby. It’s okay, baby. Listen… there is nothing to explain. (sure, sure, sure.) (yeah, yeah, yeah.) It is in my head, baby. It’s okay, baby. It’s okay, baby. It’s okay, baby. Honey Did that girl just tweak his nipples on stage? It’s not an urban myth, I do have a vagina. It’s said music soothes the savage breast. Well, I have big tits. Everyone should dance, with their eyes closed. Listen with their memories. Pretty flower box in the window TV says that he had a gaping gash on his head Eating a cookie, so sweet I reach out to touch the roses Slashes of sunbeams Tints of pink and red and purple So fresh, so warm I have a secret for you Tuesday
Morning Tiny
sprinkles. Everywhere. Look
upon thee… Memories,
so bold. Everlasting. Wishes
whispered. Hauntingly,
I am… Yours. Chinese
Torture You fucking
suck Me Touches
touching touched my life but never Me Smell
smelled smelly Fuck
your ass Nelly Spits
spittle spitting on your watched
box Look
around Go a
round Fuck
around on me Easy
sleazy wheezy Cracked Whore Don’t
ever fucking
knock on my door For sure For sure For sure Dog eating
bore Heart
ripped once I bled Heart
ripped twice You’re
dead 3/24/07
Hello She feels light blue today. This lady has nothing to say. She bitches about everyone and everything, all the time. This guy tells really bad jokes, but I still laugh with him. If I had a Waltham, I would shott myself right now. Stupid. He is down with the sickness but is good people. This man has an imaginary dog. Well, he carries around a stuffed animal. I am glad you have such a great marriage. Hang up. Hang up. Hang up. Hang up. Your time is up. Please call again. Drivel Oh, please hold me. I need to pee. I am a sap. I write crap. I write drivel. I am civil. I have no skill. I make people ill. I write shit all day. I only write one way I spend all my time, making my drivel rhyme. I write about love. And god above. I need to leak. I need to speak. I have no clue, that I am writing poo. I just go on and one. I make everyone yawn. All the while, I have no style. A bad poet. Makes me shit. A Hobby Outta the womb, & into the bar. I know what Eddie Vedder smells like. The Hutch poured Evian on my t-shirt. Moby is so sweet. Joey Ramone is so tall, and stinky, but, nowhere near as bad as Rob Zombie. Sister Nancy acknowledged us. Treat Her Right bumper stickers. Guess Who shook our hands. Godsmack yelled at us. Redmath tolerated us and did my hair. Saw Hank puke outside the bar in his drinking days. I had no clue Randy California was hitting on me. Shag got so high before the fireworks gig. Jello sang to us. Happy got a dose of Pacino. Dead Kennedys are humble. Shared things with Sprung Monkey in the cold. Freekbass finds us amusing. Debbie Harry is tiny, tiny, tiny. That was not me. I did not stick my finger up Courtney’s butt that night. I don’t want to fuck a star. I just want to fuck with them. Question of Skins Don’t be rash I have welts I realize it’s heartfelt I need to crash Itchy Bitchy That’s the rub What about this CBT stuff? We are already doing it? I remember days (filled) with Librium, Elavil and Seconol I have teeth Scratch in my skin It has been Sweet release Itchy Bitchy Rub Again Flowers Tock Rosehips are bitter on the tongue Fool Moon is on Loving loved lover Undercover Jasmine compliments sandalwood Bask in it, lie in it, smile in it Afterglow It’s all part of my show Oil and water looks so pretty in the light Daffodils bloom so briefly Tattered tatted tales Crucial Brutal Confessional Jesus fucked me on a bed of wildflowers Twice this night Tic tock tick tock Your name is on my clock Nettles will sting you Best to keep my glasses on And my expectations near Claws and teeth in check Two warriors hold hands Nightshade can be deadly Reassurance of beauty But the jury is still out Is that dogwood blooms I smell? Don’t preach to me I already know about sense on scents And that flowers bloom at night CAKE I want MY cake, and I want to eat it too. I must CONFESS that I am short on money, but I am long on time. There are more resources than excuses. Wise words spoken, I WILL listen to you. I love him from afar and it BURNS me there. My therapist loves me more than my own mother. That damn dog ate my glasses as if I would not see. You just know someone is going to get SMACKED. You had to run to go eat sushi with a friend. Is THAT what you call it? Painting my rainbows to appear soft and inviting. I am kind in my mind, always dinking and THINKING. I want to come back as a cat, life would be grand. For my own SAKE I will bake a cake of sweetness. High Ends I am sorry I was not well I kicked And I screamed And I yelled Filthy mouth Holding nothing Back My tongue On fire Broken glass in my eyes Blood metal in mouth I can hear the music Yes, I hear the music I must scrub what lies More candles to cover its smell I wish I could bottle this Stick it down a deep well I need to go south Now Don’t touch me I will break apart Juice in veins My purple heart I hurt you and shredded and I fell I am sorry I was not well Ouch It’s like taking a truth serum, so in your face, and I should be gagged some will argue. Moreover, I don’t give… a shit about what I can, will and do say to you. My pale skin is on fire. And you think, new love will heal the savage breast? I do think before I speak, cutting you open with words. Wine and pills are so sweet,
I am at times but, the black sits in my… heart of hearts, waiting. No one knows the, I, me or you. Needlessly soothing a beast. Endlessly, I fear. Her sting is sharp and quick. Excellence jumbled with doubt. And I want a way out of this mess. Deliver to me, some softness. Suck out my tainted marrow. Clock Me I hunger for more Fill up my inner whore Dead Skin made me walk again I have been left before Broken and bloody Near the shore I will with you fight Taking colossal bites Bring it on baby I have never been accused of being a lady Turn back your clocks And I will kill you with my metal box Turn your clocks ahead And lie with me in my jasmine bed Leave me in the dust As you wish My ID will continue its lust I am one angry Banshee I don’t desire money I crave honey I need some smiles It’s been awhile School me on the wise Save me from the lies Friday the 13th That was a first she is already in the hospital so I’ll let her live. This cunt is so boring I want to push her really fast and hard in her wheelchair. I love this man I would have given him my uterus if at the time, I had known he was missing his. First time I spoke with her she likes to vent if I had a Smirnoff Ice, I would give it to her. Sugary Sweet I always wonder how anyone could take her kids away. I am so fucking embarrassed for him he bitches way too much we all just need to get laid. Ganja Kitty Takin’ a toke thinking about my bloke. Ganja Kitty rocks, right down to his socks. He’s my special friend, with his tasty blend. May he never want for tuna, or salmon or herb. His balance of life undisturbed. He’s a hep-cool cat, no doubt ‘bout that Kick out and jam. You are the man. Good Bless Betty Ford God bless Betty Ford. She made being an addict chic. I am not looking for Jesus, And I am pretty sure he is not looking for me. It makes me happy to see your face, from between my legs. He was half French and half Filipino, but he looked like an Indian. Daddy’s little cunt. Now there is something to stink up your mind. Should I put it in the refrigerator? I don’t know shit about wine. He claimed the Dali Lama tossed his salad. Well good for him. Apparently, I am not at peace with myself. Everybody hates me and I have no rights. Only two things come from steers and queers. Which one are you, boy? I will send you something special soon, I promise. Throwing the book at you, praying you will learn to read. Je t’aime aussi means I love you too. I am going to take a bath in red jello, and smoke cigarettes. Mixed Mediums Jack of spades, and the two of hearts. Look for… the right one. On the horizon, near the shore. Your colors blend so well. Speak up… above the heard. Trade me smiles, not just for tonight. Smells of… buttery syrupy pancakes. Seven gems, under the skull. Take a rock… so pretty and free. Life encased in stone. Dragons, and gold within. Huggers abound. Share the fire. Three in Spirit… one in life. Paint and wire, words and seeds. Coming back to… Jack of spades, and the two of hearts. Killer I hurt in silence I hurt under the shower I scream in the car I scream underwater I look for you I smell you I remember your soft touch I remember your smile Shhhhhh Hush Yes It’s alright now Soy spaghetti Vanilla ice cream An old movie Time with old friends I sleep alone I sleep and I dream I light candles I light the fireplace I throw the cards I won’t throw out your things I sift through time I sift through numb Shhhhhh Hush Yes It’s alright now Pills, Chills and Thrills Pills? Just take these pills? To cure all my ills? Okay, if you insist I will not resist I curiously have interest Seconal, Librium, Elavil Where are you? Seems you went out of style After a while What can be done? I can’t ever pronounce the new ones. I take more pills than someone twice my age Even more than my sage I put pretty stickers on my medi-set It looks so nice You want some, I bet I just take colors Pink and blue And the big tan one All part of the sum Is it time to swallow more happiness and peace? Will this be my only release? “I don’t do drugs, I am drugs” I would have liked to hang out with him Maybe trade pills for chills and thrills Utterings Off My Piers My arm is itchy, like it needs a new burn. Don’t do it or I will kick your ass. Hey! Remember that movie, They Live? Roddy Piper says, “I came here to chew bubblegum and kick
ass. And I am all out of bubblegum.” Eating celery with peanut butter makes it diet, you know. Yes, and always eat two pieces of chocolate because the second one cancels out the first one. Good to know. Don’t forget to order a large diet Coke with your flesh and fat. Vodka has to be good for you, it’s made out of potatoes. Iggy Pop would not friend me on myspace. Do you believe that shit? That bastard. Oh no, I am sorry. I am so fucking sorry. If I was married to you I would be just as crazy as you say your husband is, you fucking bitch
parading as the martyr, the supportive spouse, you are a piece of shit that whines. Just complain away because I do not give a fuck about you or anything you say. There are more resources than excuses. If I had the power I would ban you. Hell, I would ban myself. Fish Bowl Fantasies Can you taste it? Tear at it, tear into it Ingest its knowledge Can you touch it? Feel its small quakes Blood vibrating in veins Can you see it? Bolts of light Look at it coming Can you hear it? Spells and shells aloud Quiet screams so Can you smell it? Instantaneous flashbacks Scents of hope and doom Pinpricks Pinpricks only My flesh does not give, away any secrets. Swimming Underneath your water Near to the center In smooth motion Velocity found Endless dreams Rotating softly Shine on thee Epiphany Ate Sounds I’ve got you in my sights. Please show me the sites. You possess height. I am simply hyte. I will mend your tears… and allow your tears. I can’t bear it. I really can not bare it. My cat to your boar… ah, bring on your special bore. I suspect you will have an affect… not just be my new side effect. Make me happy by spelling you are as you’re. I wish to absorb more of your yore. It is better to accept… than to settle for the except. Client They have to give us medicine so we won’t kill you or kill ourselves. That burn on my hand is nothing compared to the burn on my insides. We will take the time to help you heal too. We will listen. We will love. We will understand. They try not to look or touch us for fear of contagion. They clip our wings out of fear and envy. We will sing you poems and stage our paintings. We will take the time to help you heal too. We will listen. We will love. We will understand. We
Are Your Entertainment Listening
to Beethoven Looking
at a Pollock Discussing
the early passing of Cobain Quoting
Abraham Lincoln Giving
a nod and a smile to Kerouac Gazing
at the Van Gogh Watching
Anthony Hopkins Laughing
with Robin Williams Swooning
over Solving
from John Nash Rocking
out to Ozzy Absorbing
Ernest Hemingway Bona Fide The future will deduce that our God was Elvis. I know how to jump rope I know how to double dutch. Coffee and cigarettes, have replaced Tang and Cream of Wheat. No, as a matter of fact I think your Barbie is ugly. Don’t fixate on me as it makes me yawn. I listen with my hands I feel the beat. It is sad to watch but I don’t feel sorry for him. He overcompensates his importance on every subject. Cherries are best eaten right
before the harvest. Hold my hand you
won’t catch fire. |