POEMS 1989 TO 2008

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The Yellow Apple Dance


I eat yellow apples and you dance.

I speak and you touch me from inside.

I walk and you follow.

I rest and you awaken me for more.

You are with me always.

You move in me with grace.

We are bond.

You are not born.

            but we will never be this close again.

I eat yellow apples and you dance.



Face (Apples Revisited)


Will you have it?

My face

Will you take mine?

My face

Will you kiss it?

My face

“How are you today, my face?”

“Apples, apples!” you say

We share the same face



The Wolf


Vile untruths

Like serpents

Crawl from your mouth

You revel in my pain

Laughing at my bright eyes

I never noticed your black teeth

Your pleasure is deception

You soul has tiny holes of rot

I see it now

The red of your eyes

Your smell of sadness




Hope fled

Weary and tired

I cannot remember the sweetness

My senses are blank

This day I have dreaded


Early 1990’s

My Heart Bleeds Purple


Hard and fast


Desperate and falling

No faces

The gray edge of pain

I can look and see

The softness

I look ahead




You are too many



One small tear

Heated and frightened

Holding me

My heart bleeds purple for you


early 90's

Argyles Collection (I, II, III)


Argyles (I)


I bought a pair of argyle socks today.

I thought of you.

You always wore argyles.

I liked that about you.


Clean lines and subdued color.

Ah, you were handsome.

You were many to me.

Striking in demeanor and intelligence.



And jaded

And dark you were.

A mysterious man wearing argyle socks.


I visited your grave once.

Were you buried with a nice pair of argyles on?


I then proceeded home to wear your soul on my feet.



Visit (II)


No lights

candle flame

Iggy on stereo, hard

Bathed in you

a tickle through me

closed eyes

soft chair

warm feet wrapped in argyle socks


…….HEY, HEY, HEY YOU……..

,,,,,,Fuck you, knocking neighbor,,,,,,

,,,,,,,,I’m spending a little time with a dead friend here,,,,,,,

A shot of vodka

A little wine


and talking

I can smell you



,,,,,,,I like this,,,,,,,

,,,,,,,,,hanging with you,,,,,,,

smoking and

watching the curls

stay here

with me for awhile



,,,,,,grin, grin, smile, smile, giggle, giggle, chuckle, chuckle, laugh, laugh,,,,,

I ponder over why

I always get into trouble

when you are around



Ricky Baby (III)


Your last image

Mother bending

…..yes, Mommy, yes, hold me…..

you drift in and out of lucidity

lids fall

struggling to peer at your mommy

slow whispered breath

….is that you, mommy?…..

no answer from her

long pauses between your death rattles

she snatches the shiny earring from your warm earlobe and scurries from the room


I put socks on your feet, Argyles

add a blanket

tuck you in

kiss your forehead

I pray that your mom is getting your dad from the waiting room to love you one last time

I wait

Holding you

….is that you, Mommy?…..

**Yes, Dear, it is Mommy and Daddy is here too and we love you and always have, Ricky Baby, we love you so much**, I say to you

…..you really do love me, you really do, you really……..

You die with diamonds on your feet



Summer Solstice Lover


The sun shines on you through our window

You speak

I watch your mouth move, not hearing

I touch the warmth of your neck

I watch your lips move and move

I smell your hair

And place fingers in your mouth to quiet you

I taste your arm, warmed by the sun

I feel my breath leave me

I am alone in the world with you

Stay here in the sun with me

I don’t care about the world

I don’t care what the others say or think

I only care for you and me

Close your eyes, baby

Push the pain from words away

Let me see you

Let me touch you

Let me taste you

Let me be you

I will dry your tears

And I will mend your tears

Stay here in the sunbeams with me



Hathor Told Me


Come to me, Love

I am patient

I will wait for you

I have asked Mother Hathor to bring you to me

How many bursting moons will we see alone?

I only ask-----less than we will see together

I will know you by your warmth and pain

For I am the magic to heal your rage

And I will know you by your calm hands

Your sweet mouth

Your bright eyes

For these are my salvation

A week, a year, a decade or more

Hathor spoke to me in dreams

The union will for worth the wait she said

For the love will never end

I believe in Her, myself and you

I dream of you and wait

Knowing I will be exalted in you

Absorbed yet separate

Come to me, my love

We can make the world right again



Keep Just Love


Intense, beyond my wildest dreams

Little boy, he cried for so long

One true magician

Venous pumping blue-black

Empathy at once

Kaleidoscope shattered

Initiation to another level

My deity-demon lover


Innocence was stolen

Damage to his shell

Restrained his light

Enveloped him with lies

A life of screaming

Misery was learned

Hurtful speech

In his ears

Mouth stitched tight


Just moving to

Unknown places

Steering beyond the past

Taking nothing

Running for his life

Ignoring his nightmares

Grabbing his pencils and brushes

He paints his picture

To his truth


Why does he run? You ask

How can I slow his rising?

You cannot

Courage is something I taught him

And you taught him Hell

Not a day goes by…

That I don’t think of his journey

Yearning to be loved

One little boy

Understands for a moment





I turned my head

And you were yesterday

Tear out my heart

And smear it on the wall

The same womb

The same path

I turn my head and you were there

Magician man

Poke me with words

I bathe in your understanding

Paint under your nails

Wanderlust under your skull

Sixteen moods in 24 hours

Lusty man scent

I await your homecoming

To the mountain, to the grave,

To the store, to the cave

Hair of the Viking

Walk in the woods of demons

Offering your mouth to the sky

Love me like a painting

Rest on me

Bring me a souvenir of argyles


late 90's


The Stars Laugh While The Moon Weeps-unfinished


The stars laugh while the moon weeps

They do not see

They only search

The hosts unknowing

Bodies follow

Souls shudder at recognition

Having walked together before

Some kill each other

A few will love and challenge the sky brights

The stars laugh while the moon weeps




Walk Away


Leave me the fuck alone

I hate the way you chew

I hate the way you breathe

Your smell gags me

Walk away

You do not deserve to call me lover

You touched my life but you didn’t touch me

You are nothing


Do you hear me?

Yes, turn your head and walk away

Drown in your tears

Die a painful, agonizing death

Walk away

You are dead to me now



Smoke Break


Taking a smoke break at work

Watching the yellow leaves on a giant tree wave at me

Thinking about him

The man I am falling in love with

The trees have no advice for me

A hundred birds sitting on the telephone wires

They don’t have any words of wisdom for me either

I think about his grace

He came to me so unexpected

Yet as if I had been waiting for him my whole life

I light another cigarette

My heart if fluttering at the thought of him

I want to cry tears of joy, but not here at work

I must save them for later

I close my eyes and I can smell him

See his smile

Feel his calm hands on my face

He makes me feel real

He knows my secrets that I hide from most of the world

He is patient and understanding

His mind is vast and wondrous

I take the last drag off my cigarette

I crush it out and tell the bright leaves and chattering birds to give me a sign to confirm that my heart is true enough for this man

The leaves wave back and forth in the wind and birds start to take flight

My heart soars with them

I am exalted

I deserved to love him and receive his love for me

I go back to my desk and wish for the end of this workday, so that I may speak to my lover and let him know that the leaves and the birds approve of my love for him



Birds in my Blood


Hands on my face

Purple sparks

Touch, here



Sugar on my lips


Fingers bent


Birds in my blood

Where is this place?

You live here?


Birds in my blood

The world is only 8 x 4

Moon in my belly

Bright eyes

Strong hands

Rain smell

Thrill sex



And faintness


Soft on my heat


Birds in my blood

Scrubbing the past away





Sometimes I just want to be allowed

Allowed to have a bad day

Screw the baseline, please

I can be mad or angry

Oh yes, and even sad

I may cry

And bitch

It is just a bad day

Not like your head-in-an-oven bad day

Just like a not so good day

Allow me the dignity

I am not decomping

Don’t ask me if I took my meds

I am having a bad day

Just a day that is less than yesterday

Allow me the pleasure of you ignoring me

Tomorrow is always better after a real good bad day

Thank you so much for allowing me to have just that






“I will spread my soul for you just don’t piss in it”

Remember when I said that?

Giggling and laughing

Stomach flutters

Souls saying “How you been?”

“Haven’t seen you in a while”

“Wanna compare scars, sweetie?”

Newness vibrations

On our best social behavior

Holding doors

Saying please and thank you

Safe topics

Keeping it light and cool


Ask me, I will tell you

Go ahead

Hold me up to your notions

Tell me everything

Ask me anything

I have a rubber heart

A shaman’s wisdom

And a child’s world wonder

Quiz me again

Try to trip me on my words

Like that

Don’t like that

Like this

Put me on a seesaw

Or better yet a balanced scale

Up and down

Back and forth

Measure me

Look in now

Look way in there now

For I am cleaved in the open air

“Just don’t piss in my soul”

Remember that

It burns and leaves another scar



It Screams

I have opened my soul
You asked for it
And it screams so very loud
I warned you
All the secrets revealed
Like black bugs spilling from my mouth
Piercing pleas in the middle of a dark night
So many dirty secrets I showed you
You think of me as a bronze Goddess
But now maybe a filthy whore as well
The brightness shows now
And the dark side is always just a filmy veil away
Can you still love me this way?
I lost my God in a room full of survivors
And I told you of the ones I have chosen to worship
Can you accept me?
All of me?
The past, the present, the future, the unknown
The person I am becoming on the quest to heal
I am open and bloody still
So many years I have come
So many more to go
Will you sooth me with honey love?
Or burn my open wounds with more piss and ignorance like the others?
I have so little trust left
Yet I will leave this soul screaming for love and the familiar
Can you withstand the force of my hatred and intense love for all of mankind?
Walk beside me or cut me like the ones before
Because I will leave you if you hesitate for one moment
Purity is reachable with or without you
You heard the screams
Now choose


Leper Lover


Tickle that place behind my soul

One glance can set me free

No one else knows how

To make me feel so real

Only you can excite

Laughter down through my toes

Eyes so bright my

Powerful man

Envelope my body

Release me, free





You make laughter break through black clouds

The strangest emotion

My raging bull, searing pain

Cold clothe on my soul when the heat is melting my will

No robes of judgment

You are the parent to my child

You have witnessed my many deaths and births

Shouldering the weight of me



My friend











Psych Ward Shuffle


Can someone help me out here?

I am feeling pretty mighty!

I shouted with a sneer,

I think my name is Aphrodite!


Please come with me said the nurse.

Down the hall and up this little hill.

Oh, how that girl was so clean and terse.

She gave me a big yellow pill!


We insist you experience the lock.

We want to study your mind.

We want to give you a shock.

We will try to be kind.


I broke free and ran like the wind.

Praying the door was not barred.

I would have made it.

If not for that security guard.


The sound of loud bells.

A shot full of Thorazine.

Piercing yet fading yells.

I fell to the floor unable to even lean.


I raised my head and saw the phone.

I tried to call 911.

The damn thing had no tone.

It just could not be done.


So I relaxed and I lay.

Serene and fading out, I heard a muffle.

I would have to wait until some other day.

To do the Psych Ward Shuffle.




Acceptance and .....
The absence of sound.
Cool breeze over my skin.
Clean and whole.

Acceptance and .....
The contentment to drift.
The safety to dream.
The boldness to smile.
The pleasure of me.

Acceptance and .....
A fine thin measure above.
Strength of the spirit.
Comfort of the mind.

Acceptance and .....
Colors flash softly.
The smell of rain.
A warm touch.
The sound of clouds.

Acceptance and .....
I am glorious.
Remembered and known.
Creation of my everlasting existence.


5 AM Tracks


All the mind track are on

Mommy’s moving far away

Son pushing his bounds

Man unsettled

And I, no auxiliary

Joy, guilt, esteem, anger, pride

Longing, wonder, desire, fear

------All the mind tracks are in motion


Turtle pace

Hare speed

So close to each other

Spinning so close


Little helpers doing maintenance

“We need more little girl memories on track 7, please”

“A little less torque on the lament track”

“We don’t want those ducts activated!”

“Bring it up, bring it up, slowly”


“Endurance track looks fine, boys”

“Keep it up”

“Whoa----vanity is rising a bit”

“Keep an eye out, a watchful eye”


“Serenity nearly achieved now, boys”

“Good job, man your stations”

“She’s sleeping now”

“Let the night shift take over”

“Hey, did anyone take notes this time?”






Kaleidoscope of Angels

In my







***feel free to insert the name of your favorite deity for the words Jesus or God, this is a hymn/song meant to be used for any religion***


Bathe Me In The Waters O’ Jesus (we are all utterly unclean)



(We are all utterly unclean…whispered throughout song, background vocals)


Bathe me in the waters o’ Jesus

Bathe me in the waters o’ Jesus

Bathe me in the waters o’ Jesus

Bathe me in the waters o’ God

Humble me with love, love, love






The sins of the parent shall kill the child

For the child is born innocent

Receive them in love

Treat them well

Teach them by your example

Spare the rod

Spoil the child

With your love

With your praise

With your beauty

Mother/Father, deity is not you

You are but the vessel of …

Love, love, love






Please help us to be bountiful

Again in love, again in love, again in love, again in love, again in love, again in love, again in love




We are all utterly unclean

We are all utterly unclean





















Bruised breast

Crushed mouth

Inflated psyche

Fed my ID

Purple grapes of passion

Mixed juices of taste

Flowing taste of knowledge

Sharing memories

Gray hairs





Swiss Cheese


My memory is like Swiss cheese

So help me please

Don’t delete

And please repeat

I need to have heard

Every single word

I am operating with a compromised mind

So do be kind

I might not remember you

I may ask “when, what, where, who”

I might not remember your face

I could be way off base

I have good days

And murky haze

Give me a smile

And in my shoes walk a mile

I do care

So let us be fair

Have patience and share with me

And I will respect thee

My heart knows

When the mind goes



I Want to Make a Deal


I want to make a deal

I want to make a deal with you, God

I want all the suffering

I want all the pain

I want to be gnarled, twisted and insane

Send it all to me

Set the others free

I will shoulder it all

I will not become burdened and fall

I will take it all in

And release it to the wind

I do not want to see the others distressed

Give me the hurt and let them be blessed

I want to make a deal

I want to make a deal with you, God



Bipolar Haiku


I am mood enhanced
for I must take a bold stance
and take a chance

To be all I can
and to be my biggest fan
feels so cool, man





Spread your wings and fly

For the light is nigh

Not afraid to try

Not afraid to cry

Not afraid to die

Leaving behind the place

To stand and to face

Looking to the sky

Accepting the high

Blending with all

Hearing the call

Not afraid to try

Not afraid to cry

Not afraid to die



They Call Me


They call me post traumatic stress disorder

They call me bipolar disorder

They call me general anxiety disorder

They call me schizoeffective disorder

They call me borderline personality disorder

They call me seasonal effective disorder

I bleed the same as you do

I love the same as you do

I try the same as you do

I learn the same as you do

I laugh the same as you do

I cry the same as you do

I work the same as you do

I get by the same as you do

I teach the same as you do

I dream the same as you do

I die the same as you do

I worship the same as you do

I survive the same as you do

I fly the same as you do

What is the beast

setting  me apart,

that I am given another name?



The Seal


Tattoo on his heart

inked by Jesus

Lives to breathe

In Him I do believe

Kills people for a living

yet wouldn’t hurt a fly

King of the hunt

Will eat your soul

Relieving His pain

Baby, I think I need to free wise up

Forever in my shame

I know his secret name



Shut Up















I desire to be One

and ride upon the Sun

This new soul is old

My pain, some time ago, was sold

I hurried to the line to wait

I was heavy with hate

I heard the yore

I kissed the shiny whore

I laughed and chose to linger

Inward, I pointed a finger

I tasted dirt

I have and did cause hurt

Bringing paper to pen

With the good and the sin

With this might

I flow to write

For to want is to know

and to know is to grow



Winter Solstice


I don’t ask for things for myself

I want to be the conduit

I want to be your mother

I want to be your slave

Nix on the nelly

but not on the naiveté

We pray for each other

We stay with love



I took a shower with a spider today


Oh, my tiny spider

Making my world wider

My grin doth lift

So diligent and swift

Reflected in the light

Your many eyes so bright

Do hurry about

and scurry about

Deadly nothing’s wrong

So delicate, so small, so strong

Shocked without talk

the prey you stalk

Edging a wee nip

Savoring the sip

Feasting on blood-soul

Absorbing past the goal

I took a shower

with a spider






I know you

You know me

I know that

You know that


Taste of juice

Consult the list


No profound secret

Just truth


Above us

Shield me





Cotton Candy

The colors have always been there

Underneath the facade of care

Behind a veil of lies

A host of tries

The cloak of deception

With a connection

That must die

Held together by

Sticky cotton candy on a cheap stick

So hard, so thick

An aura of doom

To only assume

An attack

A knife in my back

I will not follow you there

For I don’t give a care

For your ice and heat

In a package sickly sweet

No water for that seed

You will not induce a bleed

I shall be fine

I will draw that line

You are with sin

From deep within

It will make you sick

Sticky cotton candy on a cheap stick


My Gifts


I like the drama when the curtain falls.

I like a room filled with dolls.

Snowfall smells

Where my heart dwells


My toes in the sand

Holding your hand

A baby’s sleep

A joyful weep


The light of moonrise

Tats on my thighs

Talking to you

Eating snow cones of blue


Touching a tree

Smiling at thee

Napping in the shade

Satiation made


In the newly crisp air

You will find me there

Tasting the fruit

Wrapped in softness to suite


Will you please

I give you these

You never shall part

From my heart



Your Kaleidoscope


Gentle spirals to the center

Waves on peaceful shores

The path to enchantment


Whispers of our secrets

Banishing the unknown

Uncovering the dreams


Listening to your energy

Touching your balanced need 

Ride upon your wizened ID


I desire to taste of your mind

Feast on your old soul

Soothe your roaring heartbeat


Share my story of the ancient

Suck of honey lust

Pleasure will befall us


I want to make love to your


Your kaleidoscope






Cherry lust

Puss in boots

Hesitation on his side

It’s fake until you fuck

The mirage ignores me

Am I invited to the visitation?

Jo does not know

You are goth sophisticate

Flotsam & Jetsam

Elemental Waters

My hair will not stay back

The lower functioning offend me

Relieve me please

Take the stairs, downstairs

I am out of answers






We had words

Goldie Locks got lost

Vincent Price is my friend

Shera has the power

I met that chick

The Warrior is best kept private


DD laughs quite often

I have a painting

Deanna pays the bills

in mind

Mamaspud has the compassion

she uses both her hands

The Slug has eyes

There is a blue moon

Hydra knows no patience

in May

The Manalishi waits



I Don’t Love You


Last night as a maiden

My gifts now as the crone are laden

Bubbling on the side of right

Towards the healing light

Leaves in my hair

A sad story I must share


The taste is ill of your lave

The power of my pink womb-cave

I was shown the save

Looking down upon myself

Waiting for the time of stealth

The inside mother

Is above her


Daddy at my funeral, he doth weep

I took that faithful leap

Damage to her shell

A glimpse of Hell

In the moonlight

The Tiger fought the Bear

Until nothing was left there


Invoking the fright or flight

Blood on the streets that night

I was passed by with fright

On that cold darkened night

Upon bloody feet I raced to my Hero

The rookie’s knowledge was less than zero


The machine of lies

Does not reflect the whys

My race Hero is wise

Scrubbing away the dirt

Releasing the inner hurt

Acceptance of the clean

The survivors know what this shall mean


Releasing the pain of the event

From Heaven I was sent

Your five is nothing against my nine

I made you tow the line

For all to see your sign

Of poisoned wine


Of the water from my Lord

The Justice of her sword

With the others I got past the blind

Their support was true and kind


The smell of vanilla crème

From this I gleam

The karma of Justice

For those amongst us

There will be no nails upon my coughin’

From Daddy I feel soften


Revisit the ground

Making it sacred with my sound

The last small piece

To release

My condolences I offer

For I am now softer



Of the deception

A dove upon my back

Dove in water to reduce the black

Blank slate

Of remembered hate


I wear a necklace of your teeth


Two to too

I don’t love you





He gave her the best compliment

with soul-felt sentiment

She desires to go to Boston

to get lost in


She wept for joy

understanding it was not a ploy

for affection

but an order of loving selection


He gallantly took flight

and sped to her in the night

Sipping on a gasoline powered Silly

The road to her mind is rather hilly


And he stepped right in

to revel in her shiny sin

Truthful power inked on their backs

For nothing and no one lacks

They feasted of the morning

after their pretty whoring


From the hurt they spurred

things best left unheard

A bridge was burned

From this she learned

that a newness could be built

upon flowers of released guilt


She never gave up the hope

and did her damnedest to cope

Again they talk

holding hands to walk

through the strife

of this Life


She smiles at their friendship

From the cool clean water of shared empathy they sip

She will always keep close the wish

of freedom and peace for her Irish



The Mechanic


I want to wear a wig

And dance a jig

upon your grave


I want to sneak in on third shift

And leave you a gift

upon your grave


I will lay you some vanilla Coke

And something to smoke

upon your grave


I will make you a clover chain

To ease my pain

upon your grave


I am Goldilocks

In warm socks

upon your grave


I remember the day of leap

And I never weep

upon your grave


I sing Sunshine

And make it mine

upon your grave


Sinead, the best, sang and etched 

For I am stretched

upon your grave





Could not walk

Could barely talk

Nothing in me eases

I have enough dis-eases


Son had to grow up fast

The time of play was past

He wept for my fear

His sadness did sear


They cut up my shell

Filled me with water from the well

Softest Mommy took the ball

And did not let me fall


A fistful of pills

The night gave me chills

I was heavy with lead

But clear in my head


The pending burden did loom

I prayed for the flowers to bloom

Screaming For My Supper helped me thru

The healing was true


My soldiers did rally ‘round me

Faith was to be

I buried the staff

With a mighty laugh


I will never revisit

My inner candle is lit

I tossed my cards

I mended the shards





Sending me to places I have never been

I like his visions of the past/present/future from within

My heart beats in time with his joy

On a bed of jasmine flowers I relax and enjoy

Near to me, dear to me, he can hear me

In the still of the night

Sending me hope and his light

My wall supports a picture he drew

You can look and see it’s true

For I have a kindred soul of old

Rather than lies being, to me, sold

I thank the Gods above

Everlasting connection of admired love

No ocean or land

Depletes his calming hand




My Condolences


I did not get to say any goodbyes

I light candles to warm me

No answers as to the whys

Releasing wishes to be free


I will live in this skin

wishing that time could be rewound

Wanting to be heard over the din

of all the chaotic sound


I won’t be seeing you here anymore

You have gone thru the trials

and have reached the door

to everlasting peace and smiles


I think of all the times of fun

I remember and cherish the care

I look towards the sky and the sun

And to these, my soul, I bare


I will keep your memory in my heart true

For I will be in Summerland

one day too

and I will hold your hand


We will talk of old times

We will take a stance

We will drink of sweet wines

We will laugh, we will sing and dance



Pin-up Girl


Joy is


Copiously and

lovingly as

yielding of,




Can you hear me?


Can you hear me?

Blood and bruises.

Cold and windy,

against the grain.


Chaotic dreams,

those that did slip.

The claws in back,

black taste of mane.


Stand up to shout.

Change in season.

Paper and paints,

a step to gain.


Feet on marble,

moving in time.

Daffodils bloom,

strong beats the vein.


Play guitar licks.

The pretty floats,

in the parade.

All shine no rain.



It’s Okay, Baby


It is in my head.

(It’s okay.)

My limbic system, baby.

Up here,

in the brain.

(It’s okay.)


It is in my head.

It’s okay, baby.

It’s okay, baby.


Called it touched,

(yes, yes, yes.)

not near insane.

Sit next to me, baby,

on my train.

(yeah, yeah, yeah.)


It is in my head.

It’s okay, baby.

It’s okay, baby.



there is nothing to explain.

(sure, sure, sure.)

(yeah, yeah, yeah.)


It is in my head, baby.

It’s okay, baby.

It’s okay, baby.

It’s okay, baby.






Did that girl just tweak his nipples on stage?

It’s not an urban myth,

I do have a vagina.

It’s said music soothes the savage breast.

Well, I have big tits.


Everyone should dance,

with their eyes closed.

Listen with their memories.


Pretty flower box in the window

TV says that he had a gaping gash on his head

Eating a cookie, so sweet

I reach out to touch the roses

Slashes of sunbeams

Tints of pink and red and purple

So fresh, so warm

I have a secret for you



Tuesday Morning


Tiny sprinkles.


Look upon thee…



Memories, so bold.



Wishes whispered.

Hauntingly, I am…




Chinese Torture


You fucking suck


Touches touching touched

my life

but never


Smell smelled smelly

Fuck your ass


Spits spittle spitting

on your

watched box

Look around

Go a round

Fuck around

on me

Easy sleazy wheezy



Don’t ever

fucking knock

on my


For sure

For sure

For sure

Dog eating bore

Heart ripped once

I bled

Heart ripped twice

You’re dead





She feels light blue today.

This lady has nothing to say.

She bitches about everyone and everything,

all the time.

This guy tells really bad jokes,

but I still laugh with him.    

If I had a Waltham, I would shoot myself right now.


He is down with the sickness

but is good people.

My neighbor carries a doll, everywhere.

I am glad you have such a great marriage.

Hang up.

Hang up.

Hang up.

Hang up.

Your time is up.

Please call again.





Oh, please hold me.

I need to pee.

I am a sap.

I write crap.


I write drivel.

I am civil.

I have no skill.

I make people ill.


I write shit all day.

I only write one way

I spend all my time,

making my drivel rhyme.


I write about love.

And god above.

I need to leak.

I need to speak.


I have no clue,

that I am writing poo.

I just go on and one.

I make everyone yawn.


All the while,

I have no style.

A bad poet.

Makes me shit.



A Hobby


Outta the womb,

& into the bar.

I know what Eddie Vedder smells like.

The Hutch poured Evian on my t-shirt.

Moby is so sweet.

Joey Ramone is so tall,

and stinky,


nowhere near as bad as Rob Zombie.

Sister Nancy acknowledged us.

Treat Her Right bumper stickers.

Guess Who shook our hands.

Godsmack yelled at us.

Redmath tolerated us and did my hair.

Saw Hank puke outside the bar in his drinking days.

I had no clue Randy California was hitting on me.

Shag got so high before the fireworks gig.

Jello sang to us.

Happy got a dose of Pacino.

Dead Kennedys are humble.

Shared things with Sprung Monkey in the cold.

Freekbass finds us amusing.

Debbie Harry is tiny, tiny, tiny.

That was not me.

I did not stick my finger up Courtney’s butt that night.

I don’t want to fuck a star.

I just want to fuck with them.



Question of Skins


Don’t be rash

I have welts

I realize it’s heartfelt

I need to crash



That’s the rub


What about this CBT stuff?

We are already doing it?

I remember days


with Librium, Elavil and Seconol


I have teeth

Scratch in my skin

It has been

Sweet release







Flowers Tock


Rosehips are bitter on the tongue

Fool Moon is on

Loving loved lover


Jasmine compliments sandalwood


Bask in it, lie in it, smile in it


It’s all part of my show

Oil and water looks so pretty in the light


Daffodils bloom so briefly

Tattered tatted tales




Jesus fucked me on a bed of wildflowers

Twice this night


Tic tock tick tock

Your name is on my clock

Nettles will sting you

Best to keep my glasses on

And my expectations near


Claws and teeth in check

Two warriors hold hands

Nightshade can be deadly

Reassurance of beauty

But the jury is still out


Is that dogwood blooms I smell?

Don’t preach to me

I already know about sense on scents

And that flowers bloom at night





I want MY cake,

and I want to eat it too.

I must CONFESS that I am short on money,

but I am long on time.


There are more resources than excuses.

Wise words spoken, I WILL listen to you.


I love him from afar and it BURNS me there.

My therapist loves me more than my own mother.

That damn dog ate my glasses as if I would not see.

You just know someone is going to get SMACKED.


You had to run to go eat sushi with a friend.

Is THAT what you call it?


Painting my rainbows to appear soft and inviting.

I am kind in my mind, always dinking and THINKING.

I want to come back as a cat, life would be grand.

For my own SAKE I will bake a cake of sweetness.



High Ends


I am sorry

I was not well

I kicked

And I screamed

And I yelled

Filthy mouth

Holding nothing


My tongue

On fire

Broken glass in my eyes

Blood metal in mouth


I can hear the music

Yes, I hear the music


I must scrub what lies

More candles to cover its smell

I wish I could bottle this

Stick it down a deep well

I need to go south


Don’t touch me

I will break apart

Juice in veins

My purple heart

I hurt you and shredded and I fell

I am sorry

I was not well






It’s like taking a truth serum, so in your face,

and I should be gagged some will argue.

Moreover, I don’t give…

a shit about what I can, will and do say to you.


My pale skin is on fire.

And you think,

new love will heal the savage breast?

I do think before I speak,

cutting you open with words.


Wine and pills are so sweet,      

I am at times but,

the black sits in my…

heart of hearts, waiting.


No one knows the,

I, me or you.

Needlessly soothing a beast.

Endlessly, I fear.


Her sting is sharp and quick.

Excellence jumbled with doubt.

And I want a way out of this mess.

Deliver to me, some softness.

Suck out my tainted marrow.


4/03/07 – 04/10/07

Clock Me


I hunger for more

Fill up my inner whore

Dead Skin made me walk again

I have been left before

Broken and bloody

Near the shore

I will with you fight

Taking colossal bites

Bring it on baby

I have never been accused of being a lady


Turn back your clocks

And I will kill you with my metal box

Turn your clocks ahead

And lie with me in my jasmine bed


Leave me in the dust

As you wish

My ID will continue its lust

I am one angry Banshee

I don’t desire money

I crave honey

I need some smiles

It’s been awhile

School me on the wise

Save me from the lies



Friday the 13th


That was a first

she is already in the hospital

so I’ll let her live.

This cunt is so boring

I want to push her really

fast and hard in her wheelchair.

I love this man

I would have given him my uterus

if at the time, I had known he was missing his.

First time I spoke with her

she likes to vent

if I had a Smirnoff Ice, I would give it to her.

Sugary Sweet

I always wonder

how anyone could take her kids away.

I am so fucking embarrassed for him

he bitches way too much

we all just need to get laid.



Ganja Kitty


Takin’ a toke

thinking about my bloke.

Ganja Kitty rocks,

right down to his socks.

He’s my special friend,

with his tasty blend.

May he never want for tuna,

or salmon or herb.

His balance of life undisturbed.

He’s a hep-cool cat,

no doubt ‘bout that

Kick out and jam.

You are the man.



Good Bless Betty Ford


God bless Betty Ford.

She made being an addict chic.

I am not looking for Jesus,

And I am pretty sure he is not looking for me.


It makes me happy to see your face,

from between my legs.

He was half French and half Filipino,

but he looked like an Indian.

Daddy’s little cunt.

Now there is something to stink up your mind.


Should I put it in the refrigerator?

I don’t know shit about wine.

He claimed the Dali Lama tossed his salad.

Well good for him.

Apparently, I am not at peace with myself.

Everybody hates me and I have no rights.


Only two things come from Ohio,

steers and queers.

Which one are you, boy?

I will send you something special soon,

I promise.


Throwing the book at you,

praying you will learn to read.

Je t’aime aussi means I love you too.

I am going to take a bath in red jello,

and smoke cigarettes.


4/14/07 – 4/19/07


Mixed Mediums


Jack of spades,

and the two of hearts.


Look for…

the right one.

On the horizon,

near the shore.

Your colors blend so well.


Speak up…

above the heard.

Trade me smiles,

not just for tonight.


Smells of…

buttery syrupy pancakes.

Seven gems,

under the skull.


Take a rock…

so pretty and free.

Life encased in stone.


and gold within.

Huggers abound.

Share the fire.


Three in Spirit…

one in life.

Paint and wire,

words and seeds.


Coming back to…

Jack of spades,

and the two of hearts.





I hurt in silence

I hurt under the shower

I scream in the car

I scream underwater


I look for you

I smell you

I remember your soft touch

I remember your smile





It’s alright now

Soy spaghetti

Vanilla ice cream

An old movie

Time with old friends


I sleep alone

I sleep and I dream

I light candles

I light the fireplace


I throw the cards

I won’t throw out your things

I sift through time

I sift through numb





It’s alright now



Pills, Chills and Thrills



Just take these pills?

To cure all my ills?

Okay, if you insist

I will not resist

I curiously have interest


Seconal, Librium, Elavil

Where are you?

Seems you went out of style

After a while

What can be done?

I can’t ever pronounce the new ones.


I take more pills than someone twice my age

Even more than my sage

I put pretty stickers on my medi-set

It looks so nice

You want some, I bet

I just take colors

Pink and blue

Orange and white

And the big tan one

All part of the sum


Is it time to swallow more happiness and peace?

Will this be my only release?

Salvador Dali said

“I don’t do drugs, I am drugs”

I would have liked to hang out with him

Maybe trade pills for chills and thrills



Utterings Off My Piers


My arm is itchy, like it needs a new burn.

Don’t do it or I will kick your ass.


Remember that movie, They Live? Roddy Piper says, “I came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass.  And I am all out of bubblegum.”


Eating celery with peanut butter makes it diet, you know.

Yes, and always eat two pieces of chocolate because the second one cancels out the first one.

Good to know.

Don’t forget to order a large diet Coke with your flesh and fat.

Vodka has to be good for you, it’s made out of potatoes.


Iggy Pop would not friend me on myspace.

Do you believe that shit?

That bastard.

Oh no, I am sorry.

I am so fucking sorry.


If I was married to you I would be just as crazy as you say your husband is, you fucking bitch parading as the martyr, the supportive spouse, you are a piece of shit that whines.

Just complain away because I do not give a fuck about you or anything you say.

There are more resources than excuses.

If I had the power I would ban you.

Hell, I would ban myself.



Fish Bowl Fantasies


Can you taste it?

Tear at it, tear into it

Ingest its knowledge

Can you touch it?

Feel its small quakes

Blood vibrating in veins

Can you see it?

Bolts of light

Look at it coming

Can you hear it?

Spells and shells aloud

Quiet screams so

Can you smell it?

Instantaneous flashbacks

Scents of hope and doom


Pinpricks only

My flesh does not give,

away any secrets.





Underneath your water

Near to the center

In smooth motion

Velocity found

Endless dreams

Rotating softly

Shine on thee




Ate Sounds


I’ve got you in my sights.

Please show me the sites.

You possess height.

I am simply hyte.


I will mend your tears…

and allow your tears.

I can’t bear it.

I really can not bare it.


My cat to your boar…

ah, bring on your special bore.

I suspect you will have an affect…

not just be my new side effect.


Make me happy by spelling you are as you’re.

I wish to absorb more of your yore.

It is better to accept…

than to settle for the except.





They have to give us medicine

so we won’t kill you or kill ourselves.

That burn on my hand is nothing

compared to the burn on my insides.


We will take the time to help you heal too.

We will listen.

We will love.

We will understand.


They try not to look or touch us

for fear of contagion.

They clip our wings out of fear

and envy.


We will sing you poems and stage our paintings.

We will take the time to help you heal too.

We will listen.

We will love.

We will understand.



We Are Your Entertainment


Listening to Beethoven

Looking at a Pollock

Discussing the early passing of Cobain

Reading from Sylvia Plath

Quoting Abraham Lincoln

Giving a nod and a smile to Kerouac

Gazing at the Van Gogh

Watching Anthony Hopkins

Laughing with Robin Williams

Swooning over Cary Grant

Solving from John Nash

Rocking out to Ozzy

Absorbing Ernest Hemingway



Bona Fide


The future will deduce

that our God was Elvis.

I know how to jump rope

I know how to double dutch.


Coffee and cigarettes,

have replaced Tang and Cream of Wheat.

No, as a matter of fact

I think your Barbie is ugly.


Don’t fixate on me

as it makes me yawn.

I listen with my hands

I feel the beat.


It is sad to watch

but I don’t feel sorry for him.

He overcompensates his importance

on every subject.


Cherries are best eaten

          right before the harvest.

Hold my hand

          you won’t catch fire.


The bear is silent

          the snake is transmutation.

Not enough time to devote

          so I will join later.


Picking up glass

          for the statue.

Listen to the hail

          fall upon me.


I am only here to gather

          fodder for my thesis.

Sifting through time

          as I walk bold.



My Friends


How could something as beautiful as a flower not have a soul?

He is beautiful in my bathroom.

If I had a cock I would act like Nathan.

His blood is sweet according to the tests.

It’s not ever here, where is it?

I like to paint her toes metallic blue.

He is a little jolly brown man and she justifies me.

Tattoos, shoes and the blues help me to see.

Handheld, squeezing patterns in circles.




Nine Heads


Her hay time

Yoke the nay sayers

Depleting persistence

Raw leaving

Anonymously, in bed, wink





I want to die slowly in your sleep.

Touch me with your painted hands.

I desire to taste your thoughts.

Your blood smells of my visions.


I adore your feline ways.

Sanctify me with the murdering of doves.

I plan to pack this time.

Lower me slowly back down to Earth.


I like the feel of your ocean.

Sprinkle me with day old flowers.

I have a constant tragic edge.

God wants you to take your medicine.



Blue Moon


Moon bright of

glowing light.

A dove in flight as

The night falls upon us.

Grant me a bite of your

height of dreams.

The snakes’ site excites me.

Hathor hold me tight.

I might come, now that

Pan has me in his sight.

Right brained left behind.

Fear my twisted plight.

Not quite, as I feel it.



Six Places


Stimulate my mind,

you are one of my kind.

Orange cream sickle lotion massaged into my back,

making my tired muscles go slack

Listen to my soft heartbeat,

as you nurture my feet.

Completely unadorned for you to see.

Place your warmed hand to the back of my knee.

Hands upon my hips.

Hot mouth crushing down upon my lips.

Whether we travel by air, sea or land,

you fit me, melding into my hand.



Slide In Sideways


She is visually stimulated.

Then why does she close her eyes during sex?

Is it really that hard, all the time?


Bite her and sweet juice will run down your chin.

Made of iron and yet brittle to the touch.

Inhale her buttery vanilla scent.


Listen to the hot whispers of hummingbirds.

She moves like a Siamese.

Holding high concentration.


Slide in sideways.

That always works well.

We are all just fucks.



Any Answers


How many diseases do I have?

Why do I sleep with you?

Why is this chain so loose?

I am homemade?

I swear all day long?

Do you hear that music?


I am not sorry?

You think my favorite past time is insulting you?

Want to watch me explode?

You do know I don’t like you?

Am I right?

Why do you step on my jugular?


Who doesn’t love vanilla?

Why so loud?

How did I get to this point?

Where did Mommy go?

Why do you have six guns and no bullets?

Why do I even try?





You wake me when I sleep

Just like the devil would

Your gifts to me smell cheap


I want to see you walk, take the first step

You see the moon for all the wrong reasons

Away from me


I am thru liking the you

I invoke my empress

You are so very blue


I will see you in another place, another when

I am riding upon the world

Where the forgiven is without sin


I don’t want another loon

Bring me a magician…

And soon


For I am strong I know

I have this beautiful chariot

And to riders like you I say thanks but no


Deliver me to life

I need the sun

And less strife


I will just be me

I am going to live on the star

For I am now free





I am watching you, did I forget to mention.

I received good marks for paying attention.

I heard you take that crunchy bite,

whilst you treaded light.


You believe that I don’t hear.

Yet I am oh-so-near.

Surprisingly light bread,

will insure you are dead.


A slip of the tongue,

And you shall be done.

No matter where you go in the world,

rest assured I will be right behind you brandishing my sword.


You shall utter and bleed and leak.

You really should think before you speak.

I watch you as you smile,

knowing your fate all the while.





Nobody cares,

nobody cares,

about chivalry and etiquette.


Light years,

away from me.

You are wrong.

Just like the song.


To stay within,

the lines.

To fill my color.

Connect my dots.


To raise the head.

Look in to my tries.

Call me old fashioned.

And I won’t call you.



Notes (Pathways to Recovery)


Inner and outer sources to recovery?

Assault support group

My faith

My son

My dad

DBSA support group

My writing

My friends


What keeps you going?

My son

My faith

My father in spirit

My friends


How do you feel about the idea of recovery?



Competitive inner self


Strengths against whiplash recovery?

My humor

Positive people

Use of WRAP tools





I don’t see a heart.

I see a face.

I have aloe,

just in case you get a burn.

I like your t-shirt,

it’s cool.

I must learn patience and understanding.

To release the hurt,

and play The Fool.




The News


Break in

and tell me

about good deeds

and love


Bombard me

with peace

and hope

and beauty


Show me

acts of honor

and sweetness

and innocence


Expose me

to art


and heart






I am hungry.

My thirst is strong.

I am ravenous.

I crave you so.


I need to be filled up

with helpings of




and understanding.


A dessert of lust

and humor would

satisfy me after

such a blessed feast.


I wish to 

drink away your pain.

Make it a double.

Don’t forget

the little umbrella.


Feasting on you talents

I will over indulge myself

until satiation is ours.

You taste so good

on the tip of my id.

Your aftertaste quells me.





He is my friend.

I know him well.

He will eat my burnt cookies.


I don’t give a shit about baseball.

Though I understand why you think about it

when you are holding off

whilst fucking me.


Nobody can be that happy.

Suzy fucking sunshine

and liking it.


Hello, you fucking dumbass.


You want to switch?


You should seek a second opinion.


I heard this an hour ago.

No, it’s your shit phone breaking up.


I love you.

I hate you.

I love you.

I hate you.


Swim in the cold.

Breathe upon the water.

I will call you

many things.


Paint me.

Eat me.

Leave me.


Ten times in four hours is a record for me.

Blow up.

When you show up.


Menses is not a good medium to use.

A darker tone is needed.

I can’t use it anymore for its intended purpose.


It’s never wrong to sing me our song.

Metallic blue swirls.

Tiny curls.

Shavings of me.





Shards of light

Collect in my heart

Patience is not my virtue


For you

No one else

Sees me

Like you do

Kaleidoscope of angels

For me

And no one else

So bright

I must cover my eyes

So hurtful

I used to be wise

To you

I choose to stand


With glass in my heart

The future

Awaits me

I tread lightly

Burdened by memories

Hope sparkles on within



Devil in the Dark


You gave me coins

and good news all damn day.

Health assurance.

Smoked too much,

joked just right.

I hear Summerland is a nice place.



Ich liebe dich.

I love you.

Mon ami.

Mein Freund.

My friend.


I never needed to

see your face

to know you.

The buzzing of insects

was gentle today.

The Sun is determined

to dry my face.





Pink for girls

Blue for boys

Save the cash

For the toys.


I like to live

In the gray area

I will give

We will take.


For we are blessed


All the



Cherry vanilla coke

And a pipe he smoked

In all the world to me

I am the girl


Be a man

Hold my hand




I shall sing

Of butterfly kisses


Shared wishes.


Color me pink

Hold me

And think

About the blue seas.



In a Minute


He’s waiting

on the doorstep of love.

He is full.

And heavy.

He is wise.

And heady.

He is mine.

I am ready.

Practice makes perfect.







What can I say

It’s fuckin’ hot out

I have the air



The express is better

Than the shuffle

I think you may be my kin

Dry my tears with soft wings

Give me a sign

Along with my wine

Touch my hand

Walk upon the sand

With me



What can I say

It’s fuckin’ hot out





Do it yourself.

You know how to use a computer.

Ice cubes trays don’t fill themselves up.

Everyone knows how to make hamburger helper or call Dominos.

You know how to make me laugh.

I am glad you like your Sansa Express.

We all know that handsome face.

Showing and growing up,

my face.



The Park


Darkness falls

…and it’s soft.

I am up.

As I am oft.


It has a pleasing sound.

Vanilla smoke curls around.

Is that jasmine flowers I smell?

Thank you

…for my shell.


Treat me right

…on this warm night.

Listen in the thicket.

The mating calls of crickets.


Catch those lightning bugs.

End my day in hugs.

For the night hue

…thank you.



Do the Douche


She is a vision of loveliness.

You just want to sit with her a spell.

Listen to her wisdom.

Visit with her hilarity.

Invite her over for tea.

And a chill pill.


Dreams become real.

Out and over and right on the mark.

Understanding is shared.

Cute as a button I must say.

Her wit and knowledge are so sharp.

Everyone is happy to be her friend.





Purple cornflowers

and bursting black eyed susans.

Fresh air.

Cool breeze.

Cloudless shy above is there.

She picks wildflowers

and her cheeks are like roses.

Beautiful day.

Simple pleasures are held.





I heard your smile, I felt your effect.

Your laughter I heard thru the affect.

I will cool your hot coals with a cooling whisper.

This, remember Her.

For she brought you light,

in a tunnel of blight.

Butterflies of blue,

shall surround you.

I am here on solid ground,

take my hand.

Call me friend,

past the end.



Wake Up


Peach sweet dreams.

Billowing clouds of white.

Hero themes,

and second sight.


The top of a star.

The roar of the ocean,

is where we are.

Take my heart in.


A portal to bliss.

Say my name.

And with this,

feel the same.


Smells of honey.

Sips of wine.

Better than money.

See Thee Divine.






of people




To see you one last time

Oh, how you had a shine



In the rain

To Jane’s Addiction







puppy dog




and out

To feel you one last time

May God upon you shine



For us now



and shared joy

Your soul

made me feel whole



of people




To see you one last time

Oh, how you had a shine





Doorstep to doorstep.

Hand in hand.

Sweet memories,

in the making.

Velvet touches.

Mouths on honey.

Softness abounds.

Feasting of each other.

Walking in brightness.

Jasmine dreams,

and morning dew.

Hearts in sync.

Delight and joy in little miracles.

Love returns.



Faces III


Beautiful face

You are my ace

Once a little boy

My utmost pride and joy


Now a man

With a grownup plan

Whatever you endeavor

I love you forever


My little potato

I must let go

Of apron strings

Spread your wings


And fly

Finding your path to why

You are here

I hold my memories dear


You are strong and wise

I look at old pictures with sighs

Of knowing

We are always growing

Baby of mine

Until the end of time





If you want the truth

There is not much that we can depend on

Just think

What it is


To wear a mask

To pull in or pull up

And pretend

All is well with the world

To stand taller

To emote smaller



Mr. Bastard


Pout, pout

All about


With your pretty wavy hair

And your childish air

Be just one thing

Try to sing

Instead of a burst out

That leaves doubt

Sit away from me

Just let us be

Possessing care

My shoulder bared

Not one more name

No inflicted shame

Tow your own line

Quit that whine

Take your face

To a brand new place

I wish you well

Go to Hell





Thin curls

Smoking swirls

White grape and kiwi lotion

It’s a girl thing


A bear in my snow globe

A silk robe

Pooling candles

Gems and rubber skulls


Colored inks

Quick to blink

Lavender water

Amber incense


High tech tunes

And silver spoons

A crafted bowl

From the hands of a child


Shiny things

Gargoyles with wings

Mardi Gras quill

and a Halloween salute


Peaceful and calm

Open my palm

To reach for

A nice slow smoke



We Do


Johnny is a crossing guard

and Penny has a PhD.

Ayden goes to school

and so does Phil.

DD has two jobs

and Jaclyn is an ace mom.

Glenda volunteers

and Susan is a nurse.

Sarah is an artist

and Isabelle writes pretty poems.

People call us crazy


we make the world a better place for you.



How I Love Mine


Try to explain away my pain with faith.

Just slap me in the face.

People die,

but not the right ones.

Scream in the shower for a solid fucking hour.

You face looks like,

a right nice ashtray.

What is the longest you have ever screamed,

in one sitting?

Don’t discard my gifts.

Disregard my shifts of behavior.

And I promise not to piss on you.

Because I’ll return your indifference,

unforgiveness and ignorance,

with the same around your sleek throat.


9/10/7 (collaboration with Phil Andringa)



Turn your shirt inside out

and wear it for another day.

Be mindful of the very young

and the very old.

They are basically the same.


Dignity, respect,

pride and compassion.

Hey, you got a smoke for me?

Maybe, you got 25 cents for me?


What are you always writing?

None of your fucking business!

Work, school, doctor appointments,

lunch, grocery shopping,

and perhaps the bank.


The bus driver is your friend.

Don’t forget to say thanks.

Play your mp3s, read a book,

write a list and take a look around you.



Don’t Trash


Nein, Nein.


Talking to her,

makes me want to snort valium.

It’s so God damned hot out.

If it gets one degree hotter I am going to fuck somebody up.


Oui, Oui.

Yes, Mademoiselle.

Lemons are on sale.

I do enjoy my tea.

I love you.

I love you too.

I love you more.


I am lazy and you are crazy.

My future is slightly hazy.

It gives your taste buds goose bumps,

with hot fudge cake from Frisches.


Mi casa, su casa.

Que pasa?

Por favor,

in the Nati, baby.

Friday rules!

It’s so refreshing to speak to a sane person.






My grandmother told me once that my aunt could not jiggle two turds on a board.

I am not so sure she should have been speaking to me in such a manner when I was at such an impressionable age.


Just because she is crammed with flowers does not mean she smells good.

I am very proud that I can spot a bargain a mile away.


Carrots have a hint of sweetness.

Your garden is bountiful.

I want to have a sleepover and listen to the trains.


How did you get so good with a pistol?

You shot that snake in the grass with amazing quickness and accuracy.


Grainy 8mm films lost in the rain.

We shall not speak of certain things as we need to be mindful of what the neighbors might say.


I just want a cream sickle pushup followed up by a juicy tomato straight off the vine.

I still have the key but I lost my skates a long time ago.





I miss you


I miss you



Change in my pocket

from you.

I can hear you

through the music.


Stand up.

Sit down.

Spin around.


Your pictures smile

back at me.

Burning white candles

with you in mind.


I miss you


I miss you




Throat Rainbows


Shifty double-take on that shifty take

Leftover crumbles count too

9,865 reasons to drink

Then come on

          Down to the best

          show in town it’s

          coming soon, soon

          and don’t force them morals on me mister

A rainbow down my throat

Smiling slippers

Gallons of rain water

Twisting and twitching

The MD at the druggist speaks of silent winds and soothing pleasing The Bitch don’t know ain’t got no problem which’s all too pleasing to even think of eating

The woman with the gray braids

You complain of robbery

I say, get a lockbox (you witchy old git)

I can fill that box in two weeks

Does it go, “blah blah blah I’m a brainless cow?”

The fine aroma of body odor, fusing with unwiped arse, crotch sweat, and underarm sweat fills the air, (don’t break the chair)

          Hydrate often and burn some sticks to keep warm

          And fuzzy up and down

          Share and share alike

          Now just who are you talking to?


9/29/07 – Phil Andringa and D.K. Dalton



Love of simple pleasures

Affection freely given

Cunning wrapped in innocence

Excellence unbound

Yearning to be found

Impatience abated

Solace was made and stayed

          Wide eyes open to the skies

Old soul of the wise

Never a harsh word shall I speak

Delight at her core

Expressions are as good as giggles

Real women of the future

Forever in my heart

Understand this truth

Long will be our friendship






On my mind

Sorry but

I must leave you behind


A place in my heart

From the very start

Hugging in the night

Smiling in the light


Secrets spoken

Insides broken

I am your fan

My twisted man


For there is no sin

Memories held within

I wish you rest

I gave you my best



My Pleasure


To write

You must live

For answers

You must give


Hungry tasting

Rising above it all

Keep your head up

Avoid your fall


Look inside yourself

Freely open to love

Hold your judgement

See beyond and above


Share your story

Eat your pain

Feel the spirit

And yet write again





Flutters here

Flutters there

I open my mouth

Stutters here

Stutters there

I see what lies

In you eyes

I open my heart

And take in your smile

For awhile

Laughing over a shared event

May light be received that I sent

Memories made

Scry upon the fire

Of you I would not tire

Smells of cedar

To me it seems

I should believe in dreams





Take me up

Take me down

Break my will

Without a sound


See me shatter

See me break

Fuck me crazy

Like an earthquake


Open mouths

Pack that gun

Blow me away

Blind my sun


Take me once

Take me twice

Shut the fuck up

And don’t be nice


Take it, catch it

Grab it, snatch it

Make me sigh

And say goodbye



Autumn Afternoon


Sage has a pleasance to it

Let’s kick back

And listen to the beating

Of all hearts


The rain makes me feel

The coolness

Renewed shared energy

Cleansing to my palette


My hunger is quelled

With shiny paints

And bits of silver

And gold


Looking ahead

To freshness

Times of love

And abounding experience



French Kiss


I will put you into the magic grey gum

And pull it apart until you disappear

I will smoke all your bones

I will show you the back of my head

I will keep our sheets as evidence

I will leave my spittle behind


I do well know you suck

I do know you are a horrible fucker

I do know about your tail

I do know my music you shit

I do know how many milligrams


I am anemic

I am using

I am stuffed

I am down for it

I am holding it



11/6/07 with Philip Andringa




Bathed in candlelight

Familiar at my feet


Talking but not being heard

Waiting for my well to break


Music fills me

I am sorry you are sick


I wish to ingest courage

In the coolness


Moving slowly towards acceptance

I can hear the moon


Thankful for the lining

The stave is good to me





Hey, it was fun hanging out with you.

He always brings me Thanksgiving dinner.

Soul was first, second and third to get kicked.

I just don’t know what to do with all this anger.

Thank god she is moving out tomorrow.

Nah, I’ll stay in the closet a bit longer.

Stare deep into my eyes.

Why does Dr. Pepper come in a can?

I am too poor to pay attention.

Always with the boobs, always with the boobs.

Let me watch, blood would be fun at this points.

Oh my god, he sucks, he sucks, he sucks.

Can you believe it only cost 69 cents?

I have a great recipe for Wassail.

It’s time for a handful of meds.

Yes, I am here for you.

Don’t sell yourself short my dear.

The creativity is the fun part.





Drinking coffee

And lactating

Cat in the window

Guarding her domain

Inhaling deeply

On my little friend

Gathering trinkets

To send with love

Spraying vanilla

To ease the sounds

Plans to walk

In the crispness

Making lists of tokens

Of my appreciation

Metallic blue

Decorating my toes

Oh how I wish psychotropics

Were candy coated




3 South


Peppermint dreams

and it seems

that I am a pantophobe


Shuffling my feet

Waiting to meet

the witch doctor


Stones in my pocket

She remember to lock it

 and then brought me a warm blanket


I will have a double order

at the border

of only plastic utensils


72 hours

Lots of showers

Roaming alike


Rough soap

and hope

is dispensed


Feeling quite thrilled

Now that my heart has stilled

Heir apparent


I just want some libation

at the station

Dancing in circles


Hand me some art

You have to posses a mind smart

to lose it.



Lucky Charms


I hate myself

For having loved you

I was made for it

Custom fit


I would rather be in a coma

Than to have lunch with you

Take my all

Deaf to your call


My gifts fill your garbage can

I would not fuck you if you were the last portal to heaven

No rain on the beer can

I know you understand


Pictures speak a thousand words

Too bad I don’t have any of you

I am above the burn

Of your concern


Taking steps forward

Avoiding your looks

No statues of regret are present here

Peace is not a silly dream as it nears





Just listening to you speak

Is like a warm candlelit bath

You just have to weed thru the total crap

To find the decent crap

You don’t have to spend money on me

To make me love you


I visited a bakery

And ate heaven made from scratch

I gave a needy man a dollar

Right in front of a cop

Keep in mind that being kind

Should be lived and breathed


That poem you like

I had it framed for you

I will always be here

You know I speak of truth

You make me feel

Like I am wrapped in a warm blanket


You are so soft to hug

I know you were sent to me from above

I can’t see them

But I am convinced you have wings

You know my real name

I know that I am blessed





Near and dear to me

Angelic in her way

Taking time to make you smile

And share her shine

Lovely of thought and deed

Intriguing layers of strength

Empathy flows from within her

(I like it, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it)

Sharing of herself freely

She has never a harsh word

Wishing that I could emulate her innocence

Existential in life

Extraordinary freshness and power

Touching my heart with her passion for all





I will trade you the evil stinky dog for the cat who never shuts up.

Deal? Call me.

You just know that someone is going to get slapped and it won’t be me.

Oh? I see.

If he ever touches me again I will break every bone in his hand.

What? It’s true.

Is it my imagination or did he hold onto my hand a bit too long.

There? In here.

Sit the fuck down before I kick you in the shin as hard as I can.

Yes? It will.

I want to purchase the box set of Twin Peaks and watch it all weekend.

Now? You think.

He totally snubbed me after all these years as if I didn’t matter.

Mine? You owe.

I can meet you for lunch again next week same time same place.

Good.  Take care.



From Me To You


500 sticks of nag champa fill the air.

The coolness of the black glass dowsing board.

Jewelry made by a kind hand.

The latest fashions shall adorn you.

Boiling water for exotic teas.

Family heirlooms are passed down.

Wrapped in a vintage scarf of wool.

The child will hang his pictures on the wall.

The smell of vanilla and jasmine will permeate.

You shall possess products to make your chariot shine.

Money in your pocket to make you feel safe.

Frogs are the young woman’s familiars.

Rainbows of ribbons are given.

All wrapped in paper that makes you smile.





She wakes me up each day

with coffee and a “Hey!”

She always seems

to help me stay clean


We go out and buy buy buy

Never thinking to ask why?

She dress me up well

She make my heart swell


We sit and we smoke

We talk about blokes

She makes me feel shiny and new

She won’t allow me to be blue


She fixes up my face and hair

Making me more aware

She inspires me to paint and write

We really are such a sight


For me she is there

To dry the tears and mend my tear

Miss Hypomania is my friend

and shall be until my end.





Come out

Come out

And play with me today

We shall

Shout and shout

And run about

We shall

Eat and eat

Of sugary treats

We shall

Laugh and laugh

Hey, let’s take a bubble bath

Come out

Come out

And play with me today.



A to Z


Apples are such a nice treat

Bears of cuteness at my feet

Cat purring in her sleep

Drinking in poems so deep

Everyone one deserves love

Fantasies fueled from above

Girls like artists

Hands of creativity will not part us

Islands of blue

Japanese hues

Kaleidoscope eyes

Loving and not asking why

Men make me think

Needles leave me with ink

Owls are called wise

People should ask more whys

Queens of evermore

Rain upon the shore

Sands beneath my feet

Tigers of white can’t be beat

Unicorns really do exist for me

Violins help me to see

Water fills us

Xenias remind me of lust

You are the beautiful one

Zest for life is the greatest of fun



Give It


I will take my salvation spread upon toast points.

I am hypothetically wasted upon this borrowed land.

(give it)

(give it)

(give it to me)


Only give away that which you will part with.

Reach up and ye shall find a warm reception.

(give it)

(give it)

(give it to me)


I will hide in the corners and commune with spiders.

I want to feel so hard that blood flows from me.

(give it)

(give it)

(give it to me)




Where are you?


Where are the poems?

Oh God!

Please, no!

Not again!

I must find the words.

To reassure me what is real.

And what is unreal.

Help me! Help me! Help me!

Find the lost words.

You so unknowingly trashed.

Why? Why? Why?

Why me?

I must feel.

The paper and the smell of ink.

Reading pieces of me.



Once Upon a Time


I saw you today.

I missed you today.

I prayed for you today.

I love you today.


Can you hear me?

Can you see me?

Can you feel me?

Can you be me?


I want you.

I love you.

I welcome you.

I am you.





I would have turned them down but it would have been nice to know I was invited. When those two get together you just know something will get broken. I came inside from smoking because my fingers were getting cold. I have such a crush on him that it makes me feel dizzy. He pisses me off so much my ass itches. You get near that tree, bitch, and I will squirt you with water. Just say something nice to him for once, you asshole. When I feel this way it’s best for me not to leave the house.



Thinking of Never Sinking


Writing, painting, creating works of energy.

Music does in fact soothe this savage breast of mine.

All alone in a room full of others.

Hold my hand and I will tell you a secret.

A pocketful of memories slipping from my hand.

Cutting one out to allow another one in that special place.

Oh, the sights and sounds that have been hidden from me.

Bottle my joy and give it to the lonely souls.



Good Day


My inside self is justified.

I don’t have to pretend.

Closeness is a good thing.

Kaleidoscopes of hope.

Evening calmness.

You possess such light,

and wisdom.

Never shall you wonder alone.

Diamonds are nothing compared to your smiles.

Supporting me gently,

when and if I need a friend.

Emulate you I shall.

Evermore we will speak.

Time or distance is no matter of mine.




American Union


I love that song.

It reminds be of Beat Club and being on that commercial.

I was once on the news.

I should’ve been the news.


I have gorgeous eyelashes.

I have the kindest face.

I want to go run naked in a field of poppies.

But I’d rather smoke them.


I lit a candle for them today.

I rang the small bell to say hello to her.

Running fingers over your image is enough to bring it all back.

Please hold on forever.


I am twisting and turning to the music.

I have swift feet and a sweet ass.

Don’t matter what sex you are, only that you swing.

Swing the heartache, and shake it till you break it.


11/27/07…with P. Andringa






The entire god damned time


I just know that the sky above is so bright

And the ground underneath feels so light

Take my hand

Quickly now

Hold on tight

Place your heart gently now for the night


I look upon your innocent face

And inside me feels like moving in space

Take my hand

Quickly now

Hold on tight

Lift me up and help the badness within to erase





(The entire god damned time)


Motion in action not to be late

Do you believe in a little thing called fate?

Take my hand

Quickly now

Hold on tight

Filled with love and no more hate





The early darkness makes me tired.

The late hours excite me.

When you hang with a bad boy things quickly go awry.

I must sleep to escape.

I must bath to cleanse.

It is the perfect time of year to plant tulips.

The sun shall return.

I promise you this.



Control We Are Here


My laughter makes me leak

I like when my eyes roll back

I got no room in my hands of which to speak

Push forward and give me no slack


I can feel the increasing heat

I am over my top

Break that back where the mind and body meet

I won’t take no slop


I must listen as you should 

Waiting in vain

Suffering in vain

It’d be damn nice if you could


I keep your secrets in a box

For only me to see

Sucking down promises and chewing on rocks

Realizing only myself with glee


I found a feather and was told its good luck

Sipping on something sweet

Get on ready for the nip and tuck

And strut that shit down the street


What am I to do with all this change? 

Do you even remember my name?

We don’t take small bills here

And we’ll never remember the way


12/23/07…..with Philip Andringa



Black and white are not colors.

They are the presence or absence of light.

I want to paint with you.


We shall use lots of red.


Let’s feast on the salty.

Sip sweet wine.

Dark and thick.


Your hair sparkles in the moonlight.


Everyone stares and questions.

Only a few understand.

Or even care.


Scratch my spot.



Thank You


Thank you for these gifts we are about to receive

Rings true with me often

I shall stand tall

I shall accept the all of it


Remembered dreams

As thin as a butterfly’s wing

I will know you

I will be by your side


Smokey curls

Give way to divination

I do call you friend

I do smile with my eyes wide


Life is a spinning shiny circle

Of love and of light

I know my place

I know about such things as these





I swear to God

And you do too

Feasting on the hog

Until you turn blue


She wants to run in the rain

Soaking wet

Hop a train

And never be the same


Her bright beacon

Has no hope

She has weakened

Even with the doctor’s dope


She wants to take a long drive

Far way from here

Struggling to stay alive

With all those tears


She needs to find a way

To mend the shards

To learn again to play

I promise that it won’t be hard



******the following poems are in the process of being published in a volume, they are copyrighted******



Alone in the dark with only my thoughts to keep me company.

Candles burning down with a slow elegance.

Music near my heart plays softly in the background.

Not really thoughtful.

Just letting time pass.

As the old say goes, I have an itch to scratch.

And it’s quite possibly you, my friend.



Tell Me How


Tell me how

To start

And to end


I can hear you


Waiting to be let in


I am low

I am high

I just need a friend


Tell me how

To start

And to end


I can see you

In the shadows

Smelling of sin


I see the scents

Following me

Behind this mind bend


Tell me how

To start

And to end


Energy and fear

For all

An eclectic blend


Answers given

And questions no more

For this is my changing wind





It is inherently evil

          and yet

I lay with it

I have forgotten the words

          to utter

          so I simply bare the pain

They say

you have to invite a demon in

to be its victim

Sucking down

bitter words

of thick regret

The future

is not written

in blood

I am dancing

as fast

as I am able





Take me to the garden

Take me to the sea

Take me away

So I can be me


We shall come alive

We shall listen to the beat

We shall not waver

Steady on our feet


It is in you

It is never too late

It’s before you

Open the gate


Look at mirrors

Look at the clouds

Look at you

We are allowed


No time for roses

No time to rest

No time at all to

Soothe these savage breasts.



Or So I Am Told


I hate shopping except when I am with you.

Then everything looks interesting.

We are so close.

We even share seeing black cats stroll by.

Our time together it well spent.

I can leave my mask at home.

Nearing you is like a holiday.

Thick paint under our nails.

Words spinning slowly in our heads.

Our collaborations are testimony to dreams.

I love you as much as I love cigarettes.





Initially not knowing what to say

Forgetting to fully

Understand how deep it is

Come now please

Knowing that my

Ego is a

Disassociated mess

Unafraid of the

People that we are





Don’t take me down and around

You have to understand

I don’t like it here

Dispensed advice

Falls on unwilling ears


Feeling up and uncut

Grant me sweet dreams

That I will remember

Just to dance in the rain

Without feeling alone


Feeling strong and looking long

You have to understand

I do like it here

Looking inside

And finding my own way



The Deity


Hear me, Oh Goddess

Eternal flickering

Light my way

Patience I crave

Motherly warmth

Envelopes me whole


Hold on with

Attributes and reasoning

Teach me to seek

Hands on my face

Oh, so gentle

Remembering our time together


Allowing myself to branch

New walls to scale

Damns to wade through

Sending and receiving

Eclectic bonding

Evermore, I am at your service





I walked in the dark


Ravaged by a shark

To the bone


Thoughts quickly found


Screaming the only sound

From the gash


My pleas were ignored


Passengers aghast aboard

And gunning far


I open my mouth to the sky


Will I ever know why?

I was the mark





Sugar on lips

Hands on hips